Okay, I know the theory that most “reasons” are really stinky excuses dressing up in tantalizing perfumes, but I thought this might be kinda fun and jog me loose. See, I love those days when the muse sings and my hand can’t move fast enough to keep up. But, right now my muse, the spoiled bitch, is holding out for Starbucks like I should be able to afford this more than once a week or something. Sorry *cough* issues *cough*.

Anyway, I have a scene I should write. It needs to be there. But it’s going to drag out of me one sentence at a time because there is nothing overwhelmingly exciting or dramatic or funny about it. Yes, I know, this often means the scene shouldn’t be there. So, I’m all about saying this plot-point-character-goal is happening, though I’m not showing it because it really doesn’t need to be shown. I’m pretty sure. I won’t know anything until I drag the scene out one word at a stinkin’ time. I’d rather balance my checkbook. I did do extreme organization of my dh’s classes for his degree. Didn’t help. Yet. Starbucks…down, musebitch!

10 reasons to avoid writing.

1. I must play Sims 2 on my laptop because Nightlife was bought for my daughter, which is why it’s on the desktop and I need to leave it alone so she can play her game. (Wasn’t it a brilliant idea to get an expansion so she’d have a play disk and I’d have the regular one? NOOO!!! I want to go on dates downtown and let my vampire sim have sex in the picture booth! Ugh. I hope the Open for Business expansion doesn’t let me down. When I can get it.)

2. I must play Sims 2 and learn all about the law enforcement track. It’s one of the few I haven’t taken all the way to the top.

3. I must finish building the most awesome castle mall that has a pool and a moat and a place to eat out in the middle of the moat and will have all the amenities so my sims can go out and zoom up all their Needs!

4. I have library books to read and I’ve all but given up reading over the last few years. I feel so deprived! Seriously. I have gone from 1-2 books a day from junior high on up to married mom and now I’m at 1-2 books a month as I focus on my writing. I must read. it’s a moral imperative. And the Good Lord knows, when I don’t spend time with my library books, I end up with fines. Every. Damn. Time.

5. I absolutely had to clear off my DVR tonight. It will only hold so much. Something that wouldn’t have stressed me last year, but over the summer Craig discovered all the many, many, too many UFC shows. And wrestling. And Survivor Man. And now there are conflicts! And I don’t understand. Yes, I know there are networks and they compete. But holy freaking cow, people! Most of the damn time every single day there are 300+ channels with NOTHING on and only on weeknights between 8 and 10 are there a few specific shows that I’d like to watch. When I go to a bookstore, I can buy 1 or 20 books that all interest me. Only television networks seem to think they have the right to demand a schedule and a limit from me. I don’t get it and it really irritates me. So I worked on clearing out my DVR, which only tapes 2, 2!, episodes at a time. Which means I got Bones for me, Lost for Craig and missed One Tree Hill that I love to share with my youngest.

6. Clearing out the DVR while Craig was at his brother’s bachelor party meant I had quality time with my youngest. She makes the best cereal.

7. Sleeping is a necessary expenditure of time. Especially when it allows my creative mind to flow into dream land and I often get my best ideas from a good night’s sleep. Is it my fault that all the sleeping I’ve done lately hasn’t helped with one single freakin’ sentence?

8. It is so much more fun to talk to people who actually thank me for my comments on their contest entries! Especially as each year I put the packet of entries in the mail to the contest coordinator with fear in my heart. Fear. Was I too rough? Did I hurt their feelings? (’cause much as people say other people’s opinions don’t matter, people are wrong! I care about their feelings.) And of course, the ever present “What the hell do I know anyway? I’m probably wrong and someone will discover my extreme ignorance very soon and broadcast it all over the world!”

9. I need to study marketing because even though I have no aptitude for it whatsoever, I know it’s a necessary part of being an author so said author can be successful enough to spoil her muse at Starbucks and have DVR and the internet.

10. And finally, the best reason to avoid writing is so I can us my time to read my editor’s blog. She’s funny as hell and has a fast paced conversational tone that keeps me reading. But, no, that’s not the only reason I visit it daily like some weird stalker. I do so because if the dilemma on her mind is the number of pistachios in her muffin, then I can give my OCD a break. You know, there’s always a part , or 3 parts of me, in extreme conflict here. One is like, I sent in my revisions! I want to know in 10 minutes what she thinks. Not in 2-3 weeks. Then there’s the part that says, what!? No way! That’s too much stress. She can get back NEXT YEAR! Yeah, that sounds good to me. Then some third person whose name I don’t even know butts into the conversation and says, “What if her opinion is that your revisions suck?” That’s when split personality 2 starts winning and next year sounds really good to wait for revision comments. Then that 3rd witch steps in again and says, “what if her opinion is the revisions are really good?” That’s when split personality 1 jumps ship with, “Yeah. Like that’s gonna happen.” So, right now, a sick woman deserves her pistachio muffins made right. But honestly, somedays I’m glad it’s the pistachio man who’s ticked her off. It gives my brain a rest.

Wow. All those reasons to avoid writing just made me really, really tired. And if I pray hard enough tonight, maybe God will wake me up with THE PERFECT SCENE in the morning. Okay, off to pray now.