So who knew a DVR could cut off *6* times in the course of 1 single movie? Add in two potty breaks and it’s amazing I retained any of the movie at all. That’s okay. It was clearly a filler movie where they needed all these huge things to happen so the next movie starts off with a bang.

Or that’s my secret wish, anyway. I have stayed away from spoilers, reviews and anything of the like. So, I’m an open mind. lol But seriously, how could they possibly end with three major characters dead, Magneto’s powers stolen, Mystique not blue and Rogue powerless before she’s even met Miss Marvel? Not possible.

So, filler. But, why did they need it? They had excellent potential with Jean all Dark Pheonix and Logan and Scott in love with her. The cure angle was interesting, though I wonder how the little boy is assimilating into life at school when no one around him can use their powers. That’s gotta create friction.

I sound as if I’ve got all kinds of free time to wonder these things. Actually, I’m taking a break. I woke up at 3:30 am and worked for four hours until it was time to get my kid to school. Thus, break time for me now.

I’ve been thinking a lot about will power and goals lately. When I first started writing, I heard all the admonishments to forget the laundry and dishes and WRITE. Yeah, that didn’t work. Tried it, though. The problem wasn’t finding time to write, it was using the time I had. It was actually typing something other than emails and staring blankly at a screen that I needed to work on.

A few years passed where I took writing workshops, read writing books and emails, analyzed every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and somehow managed to write a manuscript. Very slow progress, though, especially when my obsessive-compulsive side would look at other writers turning out four manuscripts a year and here I was struggling over fifteen pages a week.

Somehow, somewhere between that time and now, I sit on my laptop for hours a day doing something writing related, but mostly actually writing. I get up at 3 in the morning, or go to bed at 3, depends on the day and our schedule. I read research books in the van as I wait for Craig to run in and out of places and when I need a break…

I play Sims 2. I create characters, name them, analyze their physical characteristics, put my author logo on cool black workout outfits, create bios and neighborhoods…like the neighborhood that currently houses my series. I built the main buildings for the first 3 books and if my laptop were a little faster I’d do more.

It was such a slow, gradual shift of focus that brought me to the point I’m at. And many days, it took one word at a time.

And my therapists wonder why I’m not selfish with my therapy. Because I’m selfish with my writing. Maybe in a few years, I’ll be really dedicated to working out. Or not. Maybe I’ll just watch my sims do it.

So, 8,000 words from the end of book 2, I set it aside. I couldn’t finish it in time before my revision letter. Now I am back to Betrayed, checking facts and figures again. Learning how to put footnotes in documents and wishing the text color changed automatically when I delete it in track changes and it goes to a balloon.  See, I work with a black screen.  Easier on my eyes that way.  But the balloons appear white and the automatic text which goes from black on a white screen to gray on a black screen automatically, shows up gray on a white balloon and invisible to see.  And I haven’t figured out how to change the color of the balloon.  So, for every balloon showing deleted text, there is a second showing I’ve changed the balloon font to a dark red.  The screen now looks *very* busy.

And I’m very busy. And grumpy. See, people see the number of pages I need to work on and say they understand I’m busy.  And honestly, every revision means work on all the pages of the book, it’s the nature of the beast, so every revision means 3-400 pages of work, but when it’s an invisible file and they only see you staring at a computer screen, that’s no big.  So, now it’s all printed out and lots of people *say* wow, that’s a lot, I understand.

What they really mean is: here, let me throw a token nod your way so you’ll be more amenable to listening to my problem and doing what I need you to do.

Want to know what’s really funny about that? Most of the ones I’m talking about will never read my blog.  Of the ones who do, all of them will think I’m talking about them and it’s not justified.
Ahhh, family dynamics.  I just put my revisions on hold for my very tired and grumpy 6th grader who’s having an unusual problem grasping simple and basic math. Now, I will go spend time with my dh. Staying up until 4-5 am so I can have necessary quiet time does not make for good family quality time.

But, thankfully, Craig has solved my dilemma. He rented X-Men 3 for me which I have been wanting to watch for months.  So, I’ll now turn off the laptop, close all my research books, put away my revision papers and try to let my head silence as I spend time with my family.