I’m not an excessively superstitious person. I don’t walk under ladders because they’d likely fall on me. I love black cats and have two. They have a lot of white on them, but they were free, so hey. That works. But, in 2002, right before the end of the year, I read a comment that stuck with me. At first, it wasn’t a prediction or a superstition. It just seemed like good sense. A good way to set your mind for the new year, kind of like making New Year’s resolutions.

The comment was: How you spend the first day of the year is a sign of how the year will go.

It’s not a superstition yet, but it’s becoming something it would be ridiculous to ignore. You see, coming up to New Year’s Eve 2002, our brother was in the Coast Guard in Seattle. He’d been in Spokane with family for the holidays. On his way home, he realized he’d forgotten his cover. You know, the military hat, and he needed to report for duty with it. So, being a loyal brother and sis in law, Craig and I drove overnight from Spokane to Seattle to bring it to him. I thought it began 2003 with a road trip. Excessively awesome.

Instead, my husband missed work and we were in a state of emergency. So, Craig got sick, missed about 7 months of work and had surgery in July, resulting in a week in the hospital. A month later, he returned to work. As he was gone, I fell and broke my leg. I went from a walker to a wheelchair and spent a week in the hospital as we tried to figure out how I’d be able to function for 3 months with no balance due to FA and being unable to put any weight on my right leg. A few weeks later, as I was teaching my daughter how to crochet a chain stitch, her left arm began shaking. Within 3 months, we got an MRI with sedation, our daughter was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor and we spent a month in the hospital.

2003 in a state of emergency and months of missed work.

We rang in 2004 at the hospital with our nine year old in her new pink, silky pajamas looking out the window at the best view of the Spokane fireworks ever. From her arm trailed the tubes full of her first chemo treatment. Every Friday, all day long, and for several entire weeks, that was our 2004.

For 2005, the phrase rang in my head over and over. How you spend the first day of the year is a sign of how the year will go. We stayed home. We watched TV and we hibernated and I wrote. That year, I finished a second full version of Betrayed. Everything else is revisions. And I signed with the most amazing agent ever. We finished chemo and revised Betrayed and the year turned out very productive and fulfilling.

For 2006, I had to get ready for jury duty beginning Jan. 3. I spent one day in court, waiting, and a week making all the necessary phone calls to check in. The legal aspect of this last year, coupled with endless, relentless drama, did nothing short of suck. The rest was a pretty good year.

Now we are on the eve of 2007. 7 is my favorite number ever. I have a lot of high hopes for the year. We plan to spend the first day with friends. Tonight may be with family, or it may be resting at home. You can never quite guess what that will mean for the rest of the year. All I know is this:

Protect the first few days of the year with all you’ve got. No sickness, no emergency, no hospitals, no missed work. Whether it’s mentally motivating or a curse of some sort, I’m finding it a piece of advice that’s foolish to ignore.

How you spend the first day, or few days, of the year is a sign of how the year will go.

I hope you all have the greatest day possible with hours full of the things you most need in life.

I’ve read some really great comments in my spam blocker. Unfortunately, they come with credit card offers and mortgage loans and, of course, the ever present offers of granny and Paris Hilton porn. I absolutely do not comprehend the purpose of spam like this. Does anyone actually click on these links??? Well, to those who’ve posted genuine comments, Thank You From The Heart. I hope there is some way you can re-post without the spam add-ons. I’d love to talk to anyone about writing, books or any of the topics I’ve posted about.

Merry Christmas to everyone! I love this time of year. I love having my tree up with all its lights and decorations. Every year that we’ve lived in our home, we’ve added one ornament with that year on it. If we can. It’s a way of being thankful for the roof over our heads and the one address we’ve had for so long. It’s really one of the most meaningful things to me. Then there are all the ornaments added by my mother in law who loves those over-full trees. Every year she sees our tree and says, “You guys need more ornaments.”

We tell her we really don’t, but she gets us some anyways. My favorites are the angels she made out of crystals and little gold wings. Mine is dark red, one of my favorite colors, since I am a capricorn and love garnets. The best thing about the tree is the lights. This year, a strand broke and we only have 1500, but we wrap them from the inside so the tree glows from the inside. What do you think?

I can’t remember how I did the pictures before. I’ll figure it out, though.

Anyway, I know God doesn’t live in my tree. But it’s still pretty and I love to put presents under it. Especially when we’re able to buy for all our family and friends. I’m hoping one year to do that without credit cards.

It’s so interesting the different things people believe. I went to church on Christmas Eve, a basic non-denominational Christian church. The pastor was young and excited. And they totally skipped the traditional Jesus was born in a manger sermon and used, of all things, clips from the Polar Bear Express. Believe. That was the message. Believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Open your hearts and believe as a child, the way the Bible says to believe in Jesus with the heart of a child.

I guess I left my childhood behind a long time ago. My daughter loved the dancing elves and Santa at the church, but all I could think was, “If I lie to my daughter about Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, how on earth will she be able to trust me about God?”

I despise lying. Even playfully, I try it. Mom? Are you playing my game? No, honey. Two seconds later. Okay, I am, but I’m just trying to figure a few things out on it. Do not ask me about Christmas presents or birthday presents. Do not tell me secrets. If there is a way to tell the truth without spilling the secret, I will search for it diligently. But if I’m backed into a corner, I will spill.

It’s hard to believe Christmas is over already. We even drag it out so long you’d think we were Jewish celebrating Hannakuh. But, no. You see, my youngest was born on Christmas Eve. Pretty special. She was a week early, due on New Year’s Eve, but it worked out. Right then, we made a deal with my oldest daughter’s mother. We take Christmas Eve and she takes Christmas Day and both girls are always together for the birthday.

But that would mean the oldest was opening her presents later that day, putting them away and then not seeing them for two weeks. Well, that’s not fair. She should be able to enjoy them. So we open gifts early. It used to be a few days before Christmas, but the school districts are infringing more and more on Christmas time. So now, she gets out of school for “Winter” break, then has sports practice *during* break (this just infuriates me.) People *travel* or celebrate with family all during the time leading up to Christmas so no what used to be a full week before Christmas is only a day or three.

So, this year, though we weren’t done shopping, we opened most of our gifts the night we got her. She was able to enjoy her presents for 3 days. Of course, now she’s at the age where the gifts travel with her.

But even celebrating Christmas and my youngest’s birthday and seeing family, all with a free conscience since my revisions were turned in (Praise God!), it still passed too fast. No cards were sent out though they were half written and ready to mail. No gift boxes, though it was half packed and ready to go. No emails or My Space comments wishing everyone Happy Holidays, though I’ve gotten stacks of them. Now I feel like the Rabbit in the Hat, running around and holding out a watch, gasping, “I’m late. I’m late.”

I wanted my revisions done 3 weeks before they were, and I stayed up all night every night to do them. Honestly, the hours after midnight are the best. Watching the sun come up is a little weird, though.

I guess the best thing to do now is finish the things I most wanted to do and wish everyone a

Very Happy, Successful and Productive New Year!

So there you go. I’m a bit early, or on time, for that at least.

Today was my daughter’s 4^th MRI this year. Over the last 3 years, she’s had at least one every 3 months. So, she’s had a little more than 12 of them. Since her very first aborted attempt at one, when she was only 8, she’s been terrified of the machine. The sounds scared her. She’s needed to be sedated for every MRI since. However, since she is getting older and there is a risk, however minimal, with sedation (Which is why it can only be done within the presence of an anesthesiologist.) we’ve had to find a way to help her do it without. So we found a counselor to help her work through her fear, but it’s only been less than two months.

We went in today prepared to do another sedation. Instead, her doctors wanted to try Versed, anti-anxiety happy medicine, and have sedatives as a back-up. The nurse tricked her, making her think she’d given Versed, but she wanted to wait. See if she could do it on her own.

So, my dh and I watched our daughter walk into that hallway where the MRI room was. Usually she is wheeled. The door has always needed to be closed before. The sounds would send her into a panic. We’ve kept it open most of this year, but she’s always had to be knocked out in the hallway. It wasn’t even until this year that she was knocked out on the gurney that goes into the MRI room. It’s always been the bed before. But today…today she walked through the hallway and up to the open the door.

She froze on the line that separated the room from the hallway and stood there for the longest time. By herself. She’d already told my dh and I that she wanted us there today but not to say anything as she worked through her own fears of different things from getting an IV to going to the radiology holding room. We stood back and let her do it, watching her take deep breaths and build herself up.

Then she passed over the line, walked up to the gurney that slides up to the MRI, and sat on it. She was crying, but there was no arguing, no fighting, no last minute panic attacks. They hooked up her oxygen monitor, dried her eyes and got the heated blankets ready. She was stiff and crying as they laid her down and covered her up, but she did it. They rolled her into the machine with the door open so we could watch. It seems like such a tiny hole, but it swallowed half her body and she didn’t panic or scream.

They shut the door and the machine, that’s noisy even when it’s sitting, started making the horrible knocking sound. We waited, listening for a scream that never came. After a minute or two, we left for the waiting room. She did the entire 40 minute test with one nurse holding her hand and writing a poem on Thalon’s heated blanket. Later she copied it onto paper and I think we’ll frame it.

It won’t always go so well, but today my little girl conquered one of her biggest fears and came out smiling. That’s something worth sharing, so I’m doing so—with everyone.

Merry Christmas!

I’ve discovered my research organization finally! It feels so good. After all the years of trying to maiantain file cabinets and accordian files, I’ve finally admitted they just aren’t my style. Binders are good for most things, keeping medical papers together is one of them. We have a binder for each member of the family that holds important school and medical information.

After gathering so many cards for each doctor for my youngest daughter and I, we had a hard time keeping them together. So I got a regular 1″ binder and put in a package of plastic business card sheet protectors. We have several blank business cards. Between the cards we’d collected and blank ones we’d filled out for friends and family, we had our own address book, organized the way that fit us best. If someone’s information changes, we only need to change one card, without effecting any of the others. (I write too big for typial address books.)

So, for research on my book, the best thing to do is binders for the many things that aren’t on the computer. But if I printed everything I’ve ever found, I’d break the bank with paper and ink costs. Not to mention enough binders to hold it all. So I had to figure out a different system for online research. But how to do it while maintaining the information I need without trying to copy and file the entire internet on my computer and re-read it to find a quote or two here and there where I need it?

So, I now have a system that works for me and I thought I’d share for anyone else who might find it works for them. It’s simple and obvious, but for anyone who struggled with it in school, they’ll try to avoid it.

Endnotes. Simple endnotes embedded at the end of the document. So, in MS Word, I get to the end of a word or sentence that needs research, then go to Insert, Reference, Endnote, OK. Where your cursor is, there is a superscripted number. At the end of the document is the corresponding number and you type in your quote.

So, for a full novel, there are lots of quotes and notes to make throughout the book. When you need to insert an endnote between two that are already there, all endnotes are automatically re-numbered for you.

Do this throughout the novel, everytime you stop and research something really quickly for a scene, and you’ll be able to finish with your research already documented and in one place, one file.

I don’t know about you, but my memory tends to work a bit differently. I’ll remember the color of the book I was reading, or the left or right side of the pages, or something totally unhelpful when I want to find something again. Then I’ll grab the blue book with the right size font and search all the left facing pages. That doesn’t help years after you’ve returned all the books..

Ask a librarian for a blue book on a certain subject and see where it gets you. I did this in a bookstore once and it was sooo funny to see the facial expressions I got.

Endnotes work for me. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful it is to say I’ve found a solution to something that’s been bothering me.