My husband and daughter love picking on each other. He has lots of experience, so when she manages to get the best of him, it’s totally awesome. Here was the conversation tonight.

DD: “I like to be one of a kind. Like a lily in a garden of roses.”

DH: “More like a dandelion in a garden of roses.”

DD: “That’s okay. At least I’d get picked first.”

He still cracks up over how quick she was with that. And I mean quick. Didn’t even take a full breath before she popped off with that.

Wouldn’t work for me. Takes me forever to think of something that good.

My daughter and I found this On Demand show. Now, as viewers, what we signed up for was a show about clothes, how they are designed, how one style gets chosen over another and so forth. We wanted to see color, creativity, draping and why this type of style works best here and the other there.

Mainly, we see runway shows with impractical, “stylish” but silly outfits. I mean, somewhere we should see the clothes for everyday people, right? How else do they make it into stores for us to buy? Sometimes the judges look for this, but mostly they’re too busy thinking up a good sound bite.

So here are pictures of the clothes:

http://www.bravotv.com/launch-my-line/season-1/photos?collection=Rate+the+Look

 1. Amazing that some people are called “Professionals”. From the moment Coco said she was tired and was going home, abandoning Queen Latifah (as my daughter and I called because she’s seriously beautiful and knows how to make clothes work to her advantage), I knew Lily Remarkable was doomed. Sad, too, because I loved the look.

2. A professional can ruin a lot of great ideas when they make it about themselves, not the project. Again, Coco. No matter what QL said, she “couldn’t figure it out, couldn’t draw it, etc.” She just didn’t try. But the Disco guy. (Yes, I am bad with names.) When his designer finally stepped back and let him go, his disco ball silver dress was the most signature of his style. Wasn’t her style, but he surprised her and that’s a good thing. Mr. Volcano also has a hard time stepping aside. Now, the Mr. Joe Average guy…he’s cool. He tries to understand and work with whatever the designer wants. No drama, just get the job done. And Thai. I think that’s his name. He and Joe Average are all about the work. I like them.

3. When people are whiny, drama queen-quitters, the world can lose out on great art. As soon as Coco refused to draw for the cuddly twins, we knew. Could see it in both mirror-image faces. She just plain wasn’t putting the effort in and she was dooming a designer who seriously had something to add to the world of clothing. Even QL knew. Her face was sad, drawn, but she gave up. She worked on the interpersonal relationship so they could end the show on a positive note, but when half their time was spent on spilled Coco, they had no design until the morning of and all the “pro” could do was make dry, don’t-give-a-shit quips, it was over. Sad. Irritating. I was rooting for Lily Remarkable.

4. If you’re gay, you can stay. Personally, after struggling with Mr. Volcano in the first few eps, I would have shot him in the head. I do not allow ANYONE to pull that breaking stuff, throwing stuff tantrum crap. Everyone has learned. Now, to backtrack a little, I was seriously impressed when he stepped back, put his enormo-ego aside and decided to support whatever the designer wanted to do. And Mr. Avant Garde has impressive interpersonal skills and patience for drama. But, aside from the asymmetrical black and red dress, they had many more, worse mistakes than QL’s one. How in the blue hell was that black net with hidden peacock feathers not a catastrophe? And after the barely-there-in-shreds snake dress? And the comment from the female judges that they would never wear any of that? Methinks the judges played it “Politically Correct”. 

5. Okay. QL’s line was dropped because, supposedly, there was a rushed dress with ugly, heavy appliquing and a cheap, excuse for a use of red leather. A simple rhinestone band/belt would have fit the sunglasses and classy dress best and a red leather bow or rose would have fit great. But…anyway. One guy lost for being too conservative on several outfits. Ok. But, for the one chick, Vanessa, to loose out for being TOO DIFFERENT the week BEFORE Lady Gaga appears? Seriously? She would have had so much fun! And been perfect for the assignment! That just sucked. I would have loved to see what she came up with.

6. Seriously? No boobs? We are not making clothes for skeletal models, people. I WILL NOT get a double mastectomy just to be able to wear clothes split away from my sides and open down the middle to the waist. Sheesh.

7. Where are all the designers for people in wheelchairs? Just wondering…

Avatar – I wanted to love it…but I just didn’t.

I used to be able to enjoy a movie for nothing more than its graphics. As a writer who uses TV and Movies to study story structure, I just can’t do that anymore. If I could, then I’d be able to hear all the rave reviews online and from friends, go watch a movie and love it as much as they did.

There was so much hype, I thought I’d be able to with Avatar the way I loved Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which the Spokesman summed up in three words: Dark, Haunting and Beautiful. A description that applied to the scenery, the plot and the characterization.

Or The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, which swept me up and took me away to a different land with different people and histories while telling a story of good over evil that is timeless and unifying. Or at least walk out of the theatre feeling I could physically accomplish anything the way I did after seeing Matrix for the first time. Underworld, all three of them, leave me caught up in the story being told, unsure exactly where it is going as there are so many options, but happy watching it unfold.

Avatar did none of that.

I loved the green, blue, purple and white gold colors that lit the screen. They are earth colors, soothing and gorgeous to my human eyes. I loved the cross between dinosaurs, animals and dragons, mixed with gothic beauty. I loved the larger, stronger bodies of the Na’Vi. Their grace and athleticism. The great tree and how they can link to their ancestors through their tails. I love the amazing plant life and the newness of Pandora. I loved the idea of this crippled ex-Marine, determined, strong-willed, independent and charming, finding a purpose and a home. As a fan of the Aliens franchise, I loved seeing Sigourney Weaver climb out of the neural-beds.

In fact, I loved it all. Like I was supposed to.

Right up until the theme buried the story, the divisive racial revision of history threw just one more dart, the characters shrank to one-dimensional, and the reinforcement of physical health, one ideal body type and athleticism over heart, mind and soul.

So, how ‘bout I take that one issue at a time?

The theme buried the story. The Na’Vi, in language, religion, attitude and way of life were obviously Native American. Okay. I am totally good with that. The language is beautiful, the religion is respectful of life and the way they lived was in tune with each other and nature. There were neat things about the Na’Vi that were different: tails, linking with the flying dragons, and…there’s a third difference, isn’t there? Hmm.

For a movie that is so new and original and different, you would think the “indigenous people” would be just as freshly created as the graphics. But, you know, universal themes and all that. They reach into the hearts of the audience and tug this way and that way, but when they get to be too much, too often, they also tug you right out of the movie. I was able to see the story over the theme right up until Jake called the people to war and they began reaching out to the other clans. The theme overpowered the characters and the story and I lost the plot.

The story became all about making sure the Native Americans triumphed this time. Excuse, me, I mean the Na’Vi. Yeah. Do I disagree with this idea? Well, kinda but not really. If someone booted me out of the home I’d held for generations because they were greedy, I’d be pissed too.

However, Native Americans and African Americans weren’t the only conquered peoples in the history of the world. Rome made it a daily practice to conquer entire nations and make their people slaves. The Monguls. England and Scotland, England and India. Normans and English. Vikings, Egyptians, really? Spaniards and Aztecs, Mayans. Germans to Jews. Even Native Americans did it to each other before the English came.

The only difference I see is that Americans are allowed to whine about it longer. But really, warts and all, I love the country I was born in. I love being an American. I love traveling freely between states to go to this conference or that event without needing to know, speak and read 15 different languages and dialects. I love our schools, our warriors, our sports, our foods, our TV shows and Movies. I love our political system that allows for disagreement and dissention and freedom of speech.

So Avatar revised history and allowed the Natives to “win”. Cool, but not the movie I thought I was going to see. Nothing in that says “Jake Sully, disabled vet, discovers a new world and a new life”. It was just one more dart of guilt to throw at everyone who has light skin. Any American who ever owned slaves, whether they treated them well or not, is long dead. Indians are not forced to remain on reservations. I’ve done enough things I regret in my 34, almost 35, years and I refuse to feel guilty over something I didn’t do and no one I know did.

The theme buried the story and revised history in a politically correct way. Yay. If I’d been planning to see Disney’s Pocahontas then it wouldn’t annoy me so much.

One dimensional characters. The scientists were scientists, the jarheads were jarheads and the businessman was a business man, only concerned with the bottom dollar. The white men were greedy and most of the white women too subservient to speak up. Only the two racial minorities in the movie, Michelle Rodriguez and one of the scientists, stood up for their beliefs.

The white man was full of evil, greed, pride, disrespect for different beliefs and rapacious of the land and nature. The indigenous people were all that was good and loving and right, even if their belief in superstitions, signs and omens leave them wide open to be tricked.

Why was the rock so valuable? Could it heal earth? Could it oxygenate Mars? Create power and energy? Save the people from the animalistic dangers in Pitch Black? Motivating the white man beyond greed would have been a good start. Not vilifying our military personnel and making grunts who followed commands so lacking in personal honor would have been great, too. Having Jake at least try to speak with the Na’Vi to head off the battle everyone could see coming at the very least could have spared the tree or ramped up tension. Instead, he was a betrayer who switched teams in the ninth inning with only one out to go and the gullible Na’Vi allowed it because he rode the unride-able dragon-dinosaur.

Oh, did I give something away? I doubt it because I could see it coming from the moment the history of the dragon-dinosaur was told. Besides, he was pretty. Black and flames, a predator of the skies. Of course he was pivotal. It was even more obvious than the red door-knob. (Which, was actually subtle enough I didn’t get it until watching the special features on 6th Sense. I was new at writing. Give me a break.)

Ok, ideal body type. Really? Super tall, wasp-thin waist, flat stomach, no boobs. Seriously, no boobs? Geez.

Physical health and athleticism over being a heart, mind and soul trapped in a wheelchair. Ok, no brainer, right? Apparently. The disabled vet gave up his life as a human being, ex-jarhead for the perfect body in the perfect society. No hesitation, no regret for what he was giving up, for losing the person he’d been. After all, who would miss being in a wheelchair?

They didn’t even have a full scene with him and Neytiri, just the “I see you” exchange of dialogue and her kissing his closed eyes when he “died”. I’d wanted her to see the man behind the Avatar and know how the Na’Vi reacted to disabled people since, of course, none of them were disabled.

I realize eventually the oxygen would have run out if he’d stayed human, but the others were doing it. It just wasn’t a satisfying ending for me. Neither was seeing the businessman hesitate or give a few sorrowful glances enough apology. Rounding up the humans and sending them home at gunpoint was ridiculous. At least keep with the bows and arrows that won against them and helicopters and robots.

Well, this is just IMHO. But, despite the upselling, I just didn’t love it.

Sometimes, even amazing husbands have amazingly bad days… Yesterday, my dear husband told me I was:

a. Like a broken coat he didn’t want to get rid of.
b. The love of his life that no amount of money could induce him 
   to leave if I was dying.
c. Like a child’s ratty, nasty, dirty, old blanket.
d. All of the above.

Hint: When he fails, he does so spectacularly.

It began in the morning.
Craig: “I don’t have a coat to wear.”
Me: “You have about twenty in the closet.” (Yes, this was an exaggeration.)
Craig: “There’s something wrong with all of them. This one has a broken zipper. This one has broken elastic at the waist. This one has a rip. I don’t like the collar on this one.”
Me: “If they’re all broken, why don’t you get rid of them?”
Craig: “Should I get rid of you just because you’re broken?”

FAIL

It ended at bedtime, as we discussed an aquaintance’s situation. His wife has been given a few months to live. He’s been offered a construction job out of town. (We didn’t get the impression it was long term or anything.) His wife and her best friend want him to go because they could use the money. (And in this climate, who couldn’t?) So, as the resident sick person, I could identify with the practical, I’ll-be-fine, take the job side. But Craig said:

“If I was told the love of my life only had a few months left to live, then I would ignore her opinion and be selfish. I would want to spend my time with her and deal with money later.”

Ooohhh. It brought tears to my eyes.

WIN!!

I told Craig that was so much better to hear than that I was like a broken coat he didn’t want to get rid of. It set him back and he scowled.

“I did say that, but that’s not how I meant it.” He stands up and faces me, looking earnest and sincere. “I meant you’re like a child’s blanket. This ratty, nasty, dirty, old thing they drag arou—”

He froze and mimicked digging with a shovel.

LOL I told him he was going on Facebook for that one.

What are some of your favorite spousal fails?